I just did the biggest purge i have ever done. It feels good. But I know thats its bad for me. However I liked it (is that sick that I liked it so much!?!?) and i feel better now but i want to keep doing it coz i still feel like theres stuff in me that i need to get out. Instead of trying to purge more, coz i know theres nothing left to throw up coz i tried, im going to clean the whole house and do sit ups. Hopefully by that time it'll be time to go to work. Working 3-9 so that means i can skip dinner. Really dont feel like consuming anything for the rest of today as that would mean that my purge was totally useless. Does anyone have days where they like plan to binge and then purge?

Hi guys!

Im so so sorry that I haven't posted in so long. I just feel like I have nothing interesting or more importantlly, nothing important to say. Everyday is the same as the one before....wake up, organise what time Im going to the gym/how i can go for longer without anyone realising, go to the gym, uni, work...blah blah blah. so boring! I have been on several times, however I've only commented some peoples posts.                                                            I just arrived home from going away for a week with my family for easter. I was sick the whole wk though! Had a cold and I can barely breathe. So annoying because it stopped me going on a run everymorning. Feeling a bit better now.  

A couple of post's ago I said how I told my best friend about everything and how she said I should see someone but I wasn't sure because 1. i dont think I need to and 2. im scared about parents/family finding out everything. Well...i've been thinking about it a lot lately and I think I want to because some things are really confusing me. Like, how am i meant to eat the daily recommended cal intake and not put on weight eventually!!! even if it is all vegies/fruit etc. and when you go to the gym, how are you meant to lose weight when u don't burn more cals then what you've consumed. All stuff like that. I haven't said it very well here but i wld ask things like that. Hope that made sense or you kind of understand what I mean.

Oh well, I better go now...go to comment posts now.

Stay strong ladies and if you by any chance know any answers to my questions could you pls tell me

xoxo p  

Currently on my 2nd mug of green tea...and LOVING it!!! Listening to the radio too while doing study and a song came on that i love and it got me all pumped so i did squats and abs for the full 3 + minutes. Had to go up to the shops this morning to bank money and go newsagent etc so instead of driving up I walked and it was about a 40 min fast walk all together so happy with that but planning on doing more exercise before I go to work at 3.

Sorry I havent been on in ages. I havent really felt like socialising at all the past 2 or so wks. I was also away for 4 days last wk due to rowing...had a great time and my crew won the final event which was so exciting and I wish those 4 days had never ended!!!! I forgot about everything and barely thought about weight/eating issues and it was just good to feel that happy again after almost 3 years of feeling down about weight etc. I was back to my happy self but then Monday I felt depressed...the most ive been in a while...because it was all over. I know it sounds stupid that you could feel that down about something ending, in particular sport, but rowing means so much to me!!! I mean, this season has been going for over 9 months and you work so hard for that period of time and then it all comes down to a 4-6 minute race which feels like 2 minutes and then it just ends. Stops. All finished. And you have so much free time. Time to think.

But i suppose it means I can dedicate more time to losing weight....

Stay strong ladies, you can do it...hopefully you're more successful than me atm xoxo